As we all deal with challenging life situations, especially the grief journeys we travel; the PAUSE is a gift we give ourselves. It’s a grounding, intentional practice of stopping what we’re doing to take a moment of silence and B-R-E-A-T-H-E and BE.
And as we navigate our grief journeys, I think we’ve all heard things such as move on, stay strong, keep busy, at least…etc. – as things to do to keep our minds off what has happened to us.
However, true healing requires something our society rarely encourages: taking a PAUSE. This PAUSE has healing power as we take a break from “getting over” our grief and instead make room to truly feel it. Slowing down, breathing and sitting with our sorrow actually allows for deeper peace and emotional healing by choosing presence over avoidance. When grief is ignored, it doesn’t go away, it compounds and it waits. It waits for acknowledgment, attention and validation. And it can wait for a long time!
We’re trained to keep moving, not to be still. Especially when we’re grieving, stillness can feel unbearable. Silence echoes with memories, with what ifs, with what nows. Over time though, this constant movement can delay emotional healing.
Grief physically changes our nervous system – we tighten, suppress and hold things in. PAUSING helps reverse these things by activating our body’s calming responses, allowing emotions to flow and settle naturally.
Practicing the Pause
- Stop. Literally stop what you’re doing.
- Breathe. Inhale, hold and then exhale longer than the inhale.
- Name the feelings. Acknowledge them without judgement.
- Soften your body. Notice where you’re holding tension and let it go.
- BE who you are in the moment. Release the need to fix things (easier said than done – hence the need to practice the PAUSE).
- REST. Healing is a recovery, a journey – it’s ok not to be ok some days.
The gift within the pause reminds us that healing begins when we stop running from pain, not when we hope to not feel it any longer. Embrace it. Honor the struggle. Give yourself grace.
“There is healing power in stillness. In stillness the heart learns to breathe again.” – Unknown
Remember you are not alone on your grief journey. We can do difficult things with support from others!
LOVE LIVES ON!
HUGS, Susan
