Grief is always around us, whether spoken or not – and not talking about it doesn’t mean it’s not there.
To me, it’s like an elephant in the room – having an obvious and difficult situation/problem that people are aware of but do not want to talk about. For us, this elephant is the death of our loved one.
As difficult as this is; I think most of us can agree that there can be more than one elephant in the room to include but not limited to pet death, divorce, moving, weather related issues, social unrest, family dynamics, change and uncertainty.
All these things cause grief and grief hurts – both visibly and invisibly.
What is Grief?
- A natural and multifaceted reaction to a loss and/or trauma.
- Uninvited pain.
- Unique to all who experience it – personal and yet collective (i.e. when we all experience grief regarding a common situation).
- A process.
- A journey with no set end point.
- MESSY, MESSY, MESSY!!!
As we make our way around the elephant of grief, it helps to understand some things…
- We will have emotional, mental, physical and behavioral reactions. Basically, everything we’re feeling is normal in grief.
- Grief will take 60% of our energy right off the top of our daily reserve – so it’s no wonder that we’re drained!
- We will realize that we’re grieving more than one thing from now and/or our past.
Suggestions on how to deal with the elephant…
- Honor your struggle.
- BREATHE!
- Take care of YOU first – it’s true that you can’t pour from an empty cup.
- Be aware of how much you carry. It’s ok and necessary to set your grief “backpack” down now and again.
- Practice a pause, whatever this means for you.
- BREATHE (yes, I know I’ve mentioned this before…must be important!!)
- Laughing is good for you – doesn’t mean you don’t care.
- Drink LOTS of water. It helps replenish tears and flushes a stress hormone out of our bodies.
And, as I’ve said before, you’re not on this journey alone! We can do difficult things with support from others.
LOVE LIVES ON!!!
Sending extra love and hugs to all!
Susan
