Every person carried a story and memories of somebody deeply loved.
Hosted by the South Texas Blood & Tissue Grief Support and Life Legacies program, the annual celebration gives tissue donor families a place to honor their loved ones, share their grief and find community among people who understand their journey.
“This is the most people we have ever had,” said Susan Smith, Manager of Grief Support and Life Legacies. “My heart is as full as the room was: overflowing.”
For Susan, seeing more than 200 people come together to remember their loved ones was a powerful reminder that no one should have to travel through their grief journey alone.
“If you’re at a table with someone you do not know, the night is young,” Susan told the families. “That will change because we’re now an extended family.”
It happened. Strangers became fast friends, as they recollected memories and shared stories and tears of their loved ones with others who could empathize with their experiences.
The unfinished picture
For the evening’s first activity, families found small puzzles waiting on their tables. They had two minutes to put them together.
But no matter how quickly they worked or how carefully they searched, nobody could finish because Susan had removed one piece from every puzzle.
The unfinished pictures represented what happens when someone dies: A piece of the family is forever missing, she explained. The two-minute deadline stood for the timelines others sometimes place on grief.
“There is no timeline after death,” Susan explained. “We learn to live with it and incorporate it into our lives.”
Although each puzzle was incomplete, families could still recognize the picture it created, just as they continue to see and remember the full life of the person they love.
The activity set the tone for an evening filled with tears, laughter, music and connection.
A memorable evening
James Randle, Executive Director of Blood Operations, welcomed the families and thanked them for making the decision to help others through tissue donation. A single tissue donor can help as many as 75 people.
“We’re honored to be a part and to be that bridge that allowed you to help somebody else,” he said.
Throughout the evening, families tied brightly colored ribbons onto small trees. The trees resembled weeping willows, their bent branches symbolizing the weight of grief while the colorful ribbons represented the joy that can exist beside it.
“You can have tears and joy in your heart at the same time,” Susan said. “Your heart can hold both.”
Children helped illuminate five ceremonial candles representing collective grief, individual grief, courage, memories and the enduring light of love.
There were few dry eyes when the lights dimmed for the tissue donors photos slide show. Families held candles, prayed, smiled and embraced as photographs of their loved ones appeared on the large screen.
When the final image faded and the lights came back on, the room erupted as everyone called out the names of the people they came to celebrate.
Building a bond
Families created dreamcatchers, using colorful ribbons and weaving, tying and knotting ribbons on loops, camaraderie was abound, as everyone collaborated at their tables to share materials.
Every dreamcatcher was different in their approach, which as Susan says, like every grief journey.
Emmanuel Casasola then brought out his guitar and performed a heartfelt rendition of Somewhere Over the Rainbow.
Families held hands as he sang. Some joined in, while others quietly cried.
The evening concluded in the Legacy Garden, where families scattered their “wishes,” adding their hopes and dreams to those collected during previous Remembrance Celebrations.
Many families were attending for the first time. Others return year after year. By the end of the night, however, the distinction hardly mattered.
The room was full, but so were the hearts inside it.
Grief may leave a missing piece, but no family must carry that loss alone. At the Remembrance Celebration, strangers become family and love continues long after a life has ended.
As Susan reminded everyone throughout the evening: Love lives on.
