Ready or not – the fall holidays season is here. Days are getting shorter. Stores are looking a lot like Halloween and Christmas – which for some people stretches out an upcoming holiday season that already has them feeling overwhelmed.
Even if you love the fall holidays; after the death of a loved one, they take on a very different perspective. They will be filled with an often times unspoken heaviness, especially for days ending in “y”!
This can make it harder to find “meaning” in what is supposed to be the “most wonderful time of the year.” It can sometimes feel as if the world keeps moving on normally while your grief has you feeling all sorts of things to include but not limited to tired (grief takes 60% of your energy right off the top!) broken, forgetful, numb, yearning, forgetful… and/or being on a roller coaster you can’t get off of.
I realize that this sounds bleak…so here are some things that can help you navigate your grief.
Acknowledge things that may activate you this fall holiday season, such as:
- Sounds
- Sights
- Smells Expectations
Suggestions to prepare yourself for these activators:
- Slow down
- Practice a Pause
- BREATHE, BREATHE, BREATHE
- Give yourself grace and compassion
- Tweak current traditions and/or start new ones and/or take a break this year
- Expect the unexpected – and put aside expectations of what these holidays “should” look like. What I can say for certain is that they WILL have some curveballs and look different for EACH of us!
Also helpful…here are some things to think and/or journal about:
- What are the stories you’re telling yourself about these fall holidays?
- Are they true?
- What do you dread or fear about these fall holidays?
- What are some small steps you can take to deal with these?
- What are your hopes for these fall holidays?
- What are some small steps you can take to meet these hopes?
Thinking and/or writing about these things doesn’t erase your grief or have you pretending everything is fine. It’s about acknowledging where you are and giving yourself permission to move forward – at your own pace. It also allows you to hold both grief and joy, sorrow and laughter in your heart at the same time…all a part of healing!
So…here we are at the fall holidays…grieving…hurting! And, yet we CAN get through this season! When we embrace our grief, give it a voice and honor our struggle – we CAN experience healing during these fall holidays and beyond!
Please know and remember that you are not alone on your grief journey! You have an extended family here with the Grief Support & Life Legacies group!
LOVE LIVES ON!
With extra HUGS,
Susan
